So yesterday I fully filed for my legal name change.

• $175 to the Oakland County Clerk, to file the petition. Credit card was OK with no fees.
• $93.80 check made out to Legal News but given to the county clerk, to forward to the publication once the records check comes back. Legal News will then publish the notice of my name change prior to the hearing so I cannot dodge my creditors.
• $15 to the Oakland County Records Unit (attached to the jail) for ink fingerprinting (RI-008 form). $2.50 fee for credit card use.
• $43.50 check made out to the Michigan State Police, to be sent with the RI-008 form for a state and FBI records check.
• $8.12 in miscellaneous postage for the large-document mailer (the RI-008 is most of a standard US Letter page and must not be folded) and shipping to Lansing.

All told, $335.42 to file. Now I wait 3-ish weeks for MSP to send the records check results to the clerk. At that point, the clerk will schedule a hearing date 4-5 weeks out from then, notify me, and get Legal News going on the publication (at least Oakland County does that for you, and mails you the hearing dates; other counties make you do all that yourself...).

Then, once the hearing comes, I go and make sure I am on the docket. If not, the clerk may have to reschedule within 3 weeks (but under 91 days of petition or the whole thing starts over again because of course it does).

If the hearing goes through, then I get the opportunity to buy certified copies of the order ($11/ea currently) and uncertified ones (like a dollar or so). Hypothetically, the places that require certified copies will send them back, but...not only do they often take months to do so, they sometimes never do. So my guess is probably at least half a dozen certified ones, and a full dozen or so uncertified ones for banks and such.

Yay.

Gods I had a good day today.

I did a bunch of extra prep work in my shower today, feeling really good.

Then I went out and picked up a few new outfits, as well as some new shoes to accommodate the 5+miles per day of walking I am soon to be doing at AUTOMATE in a couple weeks.

Also PSA: you all girls unfortunately suffering from testosterone poisoning: Nordstrom Rack apparently believes that girls with big feet exist and need cute shoes! Their stock goes up to 13!

Then, my partner and I went out to see Captain Marvel (which is so much fun, Carol Danvers is so cool, also unrelated I need a leather aviator jacket now) and had pizza and gelato afterwards.

Pretty much a perfect day. Other than the catcalling. (is this the first time I have been catcalled? I think it might be. Ick)

But yeah. Good day.

Another vendor meeting. Second one who alternated between talking to my boobs and talking exclusively to my male colleague who was shadowing me. I did get in a good zinger, offering to share the link to the website I bought them from so he could get his own set. My colleague was good and directed conversation back to me. But seriously.

I had a few issues with my mom the last few weeks. I think we have settled them at the moment. However, mostly unsolicited critiques on my appearance and choice of dress.

Weirdly, when I have commented on these, uh, joyous experiences to female friends, I have been getting gleeful schadenfreude. Like, I do understand that I am giving up privilege, and everyone likes the story of the mighty (or maybe just slightly elevated) falling. But it is strange to me that some of the very people who have been super supportive all along and giving me the whole sisterhood vibe, have been, well, kind of hurtful.

I mean, no one is obligated to give me anything. It just. It hurts though. And sometimes it is isolating.

But I will get through it. Being a woman is not all super plus good things.

So with all the snow the Detroit area got last night, like many people, I spent a good share of the day shoveling my deck and driveway to keep up (snowblower is in my immediate future plans).

This is of course actually pretty hot and sweaty work despite the air temperature being just about 15°F. An interesting thing I noticed was, when I got inside and peeled off most of my layers, I smell different. Like, I definitely needed a shower, but I no longer have that rank male BO smell.

Weird.

It is weird to me how it is the little things that are most validating now that I am out of the closet.

• using my real name casually on forms at work
• not having to hide that I am wearing a bra (because I need one...)
• my partner saying that I am his girlfriend (yes, hi, yes I am, I am your girl, that is me)
• random times I catch people using my pronouns correctly, or correcting others on same
• exchanging compliments with other women
• seeing lipstick or makeup on things (napkins, glasses, water bottle spout)

Like, the big ones of course are obvious, but these little ones just make me feel warm and happy all day.

Yeah so almost two months in and oh wow so my boobs hurt. Nano landed on them from the window a few days ago and like no one really prepared me for that pain. I see all the other transwomen saying it but it is hard to really truly appreciate it until it happens to me you know?

Also I feel so fucking content and sure with this decision. Like, I do not really experience dysphoria but clearly something was missing and I found it. I am really digging this concept of gender euphoria.

Also also, in the bin of "things I should have learned from literally every other transwoman", why the shit does Spiro smell like mint but taste like rotting corpses? And could it not linger forever?

So I just came out on social media last night. It went well so far. I am still not out at work, though more because I would rather not have those conversations than any concerns about my employment.

But my boss knows because I did not give enough fucks to lock down my Facebook before coming out there (I unfriended all my coworkers first but did not fully set it to friends only because fuckit) and he is super super cool with it. He offered to fire literally every single person in the office and beat them up if they harassed me.